人太老實沒法活

英語翻譯，直譯和意譯，真的差別好大啊，一個在地上跑，一個在天下飛。完成則是“飛禽”和“走獸”的級差——

1.The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But its still on the list.

吾雖不殺伯仁，伯仁因我而死。

2.Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.

知識就是告訴你說應該把雞蛋放進籃子，智慧則是叫你不要把所有雞蛋都放進同一個籃子。

3.If God is watching us, the least we can do is be entertaining.

上帝瞅著咱們呢，大伙好歹喜感點吧！

4. I didnt fight my way to the top of the food chain to be a vegetarian.

老子拼死拼活奮斗到食物鏈頂端，不是為了成為一個素食者。

5.Better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to speak and remove all doubt.

剽悍的人生不需要解釋。

6.Its not the fall that kills you; its the sudden stop at the end.

跳樓的時候，“啊——”的時候還沒死；“啪！”，那才是死了。

7.Hospitality: making your guests feel like theyre at home, even if you wish they were.

好客就是：讓客人覺得他們像在他們家一樣，盡管你真的希望他們滾回他們家。

8.Youre never too old to learn something stupid.

活到老，2到老。

9.If you keep your feet firmly on the ground, youll have trouble putting on your pants。

人太老實沒法活。

10.Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine。

人生何處不杯具，唯有面對飲水機。