No more complaining in two weeks!What will happen to you?

By Satarupa Bhattacharjya

From August 1stto August 15thI fasted from complaining.Yes,that’s right.No more “I’m tired” grumbles at 3 pm at the office.No more yelling at cars that cut me off on 440.No more snapping at people for not listening.The highlight of the two week period?I validated that I’m not a terrible,negative person,and optimistic people tend to live longer according to some studies.And I’m optimistic enough to believe these studies are the correct studies.

So here you go:the top five things that occurred when I stopped complaining,both the good and the bad.

1.I realized that I don’t sleep enough.The biggest complaint that I had to bite my tongue on?

“I’m tired.” Or a variation of “I’m exhausted.” American culture leaves us seeking to thrive off of no sleep and Starbucks.And is it really worth it to feel that negativity quite literally every day?I found myself almost getting annoyed with myself for being so tired.On the same note,I annoyed myself when I felt like uttering the complaint, “I’m starving.” No,Alexii.You don’t actually know what it really means to be hungry(so maybe you aren’t THAT tired either).

2.I argued less.

I’m not exactly one to pick a fight,but I noticed how many stupid arguments I can have in a week.If my fiancé Alex said something I disagreed with,I couldn’t immediately react.This helped me not snap—and more importantly it made me think before anything came out of my mouth.I’m pretty sure we’ve been told since kindergarten, “Think before you speak”but I noted how often I neglect this simplest piece of advice.

從8月1日那天起直到8月15日，我停止了對生活一切的抱怨。是的，沒錯。下午三點的辦公室，再也不會聽見我哀嘆著：“我好累”。在440地區被搶了車道，我不會再大喊大叫。有人無視我的話，我也不會勃然大怒。這兩周來最重要的發現是什么?我證明了自己不是個糟糕的、充滿負能量的人。有研究表明樂觀的人一般更長壽，而且我足夠樂觀，相信這些研究是正確的。

那么接下來，我想談談自己停止抱怨生活之后的五個變化，其中有正面的，也有負面的。

1.我意識到自己睡眠不足，這不是我以前最喜歡抱怨的嗎?

“我好累”，或者，“我要累死了”。美國文化迫使我們在不足的睡眠和一杯杯咖啡中度日。每天生活在這樣的負面環境中真的值得嗎?連我自己都很煩惱，為什么要把自己折騰得這么累。同樣，當我想要喊出“我要餓死了”的時候，也十分煩惱。不，Alexii，你并不知道什么叫真正的餓吧(所以也許你也并沒有自己說得這么累)。

3.Angst builds up.

Here’s the deal:this experience was overall a positive experience for me.It truly made me reflect on my reactions to situations.That being said,sometimes people just need to vent.There was one day that I came home completely exhausted and slightly emotionally distraught.Instead of engaging in conversation with my friend that was at my house or my fiancé,I straight up shut down.It’s almost as if I didn’t know how to be positive in that moment.It was strange.And I went to bed early that night.But on a lighter note...

4.Negativity is a state of mind.

When you stop yourself from uttering negative speech,you begin to notice how negative your thought process tends to be.Sure I didn’t verbally complain when I was tired or annoyed—but I still continued thinking them.And as much as negative speech can wear you down,negative thoughts are just as dangerous.

5.I prayed more.

If I was forced to turn the negative into the positive,I turned to God.Perhaps it's from prior experience—but for whatever reason,it happened.And my spirit felt nourished.

And at the end of the day?Shit happens.After my fast from complaining,I had what may have been one of the worst days I had experienced.Imagine tough conversations that were draining but necessary (and even worse after the conversation,nothing was resolved)compiled with other people’s negativity.Then add a few “first world”problems as I like to call them—a poor night’s sleep,a shattered phone,and a stalling car.What did I do?I complained.Where did it get me?Not too far.I noted a day later that things really aren’t that bad.People have good days and people have bad days—but the truth is?It’s all about your outlook.

2.我吵架的頻率變少了。

我不是那種喜歡挑事的人，但我還是會發現一周里自己有過多少次愚蠢的爭吵。如果我的未婚夫艾利克斯說了一些我反對的話，我不會馬上回應他。這樣我就不會大聲吼他，更重要的是，這樣我就有時間在說話前多思考思考了。我確信從幼兒園開始，大人們就告訴我們“三思而后言”，但我覺得我還是很容易忽視這個最簡單的建議。

3.焦慮感增加了。

是這樣的：這種體驗對我來說是有好處的，它真的使我反省自己在特定處境下的行為。話雖如此，有時人們只是需要釋放情緒而已。記得有一天我回到家，身心俱疲，心煩意亂。我沒有找當時在我家中的朋友或是未婚夫聊天，而是直接陷入沉默。仿佛那時我根本不知道怎樣讓自己樂觀起來，太奇怪了。那晚我很早就睡了，但反而感覺輕松了很多……

4.負能量是一種心境。

當你不再說出那些消極的話語，你會發現自己還是會有那些消極的想法。誠然，我言語上沒有抱怨疲勞或是煩躁，但我依然有著這樣的想法。和消極的話語一樣，消極的想法一樣會消磨你的意志。

5.我嘗試更多的祈禱。

如果我一定要把負能量轉為正能量，我會向上帝求助。也許是從前的經驗吧，不管怎樣，我感受到了精神上的洗禮。

最后怎樣了呢?糟糕的事情還是發生了，在我拒絕抱怨之后，我經歷了非常糟的一天。想象一下：艱難的談話使你心力交瘁(更可惡的是談完之后什么都沒有解決)，你不得不承受著別人的負能量。接著還有那些我稱之為“第一世界”的麻煩困擾著你——睡眠不足，手機被摔壞，車子拋錨。我是怎么應對的?我抱怨了。持續了多久呢?沒有多久，因為后來我明白其實事情也沒有想象的那樣不堪。世事無常嘛，關鍵在于你怎樣看待這個世界。