幽默三則

王　昂

（A）

A bald man took a seat in a beauty shop.

“What can I do for you？” asked the stylist.

“I want a hair transplant，” the guy explained， “but I couldn't stand the pain. If you can make my hair look like yours without causing me any discomfort， I'll pay you $5，000.”

“No problem，” said the stylist and he quickly shaved his head.

一個禿頭的男人坐在理發店里。

發型師問：“我可以幫你做點什么嗎？”

那個人說：“我本來去做頭發移植，但那實在太痛了。如果你能夠讓我的頭發看起來像你的一樣，而且沒有任何痛苦，我將付給你5，000美元?！?/p>

“沒問題，”發型師說，然后他很快剃了個光頭。

（B）

The young boy protested vigorously when his mother asked him to take his little sister along fishing. “The last time she came，” he objected， “I didn't catch a single fish.”

“I'll talk to her，” his mother said， “and I promise this time she won't make any noise.”

“It wasn't the noise， Mom，” the boy replied. “She ate all my bait.”

小男孩的媽媽提出讓他帶著妹妹一起去釣魚，他堅決反對。他說：“上次她跟著我，我連一條魚都沒能釣得到?！?/p>

“我會告訴她，”媽媽說，“我保證這次她不再發出響聲了?！?/p>

男孩回答說：“媽媽，不是響聲，是她把所有的誘餌都吃了?！?/p>

（C）

A mother is admonishing her son： “Now， John， don't be selfish. Let your little brother share the bicycle with you.”

“But Mother， I do. I ride it down the hill， and he rides it up the hill.”

一位母親在勸告她的兒子，她說：“聽著，約翰，別太自私了，讓你的弟弟和你共用一輛自行車?！?/p>

“媽媽，我是讓他騎的；下坡時我騎，上坡時他騎?！?/p>

（河南商丘市第二十中學王昂供稿）