YOU’VE GOT QUESTIONS?SHE’S GOT ANSWERS(BUT YOU PROBABLY WON’T LIKE THEM)

What do you think about the US elections? It’s all people talk about these days.

Political Pete

You’ve come to the right person: No one knows more about US politics than me. Just like the current US president,who is nicknamed 懂王 (dǒngwáng, “king of knowledge”)in China, I am the 懂后 (dǒnghòu, “queen of knowledge”).Some people would say I’m very, very 聰明 (cōngmíng,intelligent). otherwise, why do you 無聊人士 (wúliáo rénshì,bored people) keep asking me all these 爛問題 (lànwèntí,stupid questions)? I have a better idea: Why don’t they just find a good 總統 (zǒngtǒng, president) and hang on to him to save all that trouble? Forget about the Constitution;people have to learn to 與時俱進 (yǔshí-jùjìn, advance with the times), and dare to make change, right? Yes you can!

Did you get anything from this year’s “Double 11” online shopping festival? I have so many packages coming!

Shopaholic Susie

As a 傳統的 (chuántǒng de, traditional) person, I absolutely討厭 (tǎoyàn, hate) it! Another perfectly good holiday ruined by 消費主義 (xiāofèizhǔyì, consumerism)! Double 11 should be a 單純的 (dānchún de, innocent) made-up festival for single people to reflect on their 失敗 (shībài,failure) in finding a partner and drown themselves in 自憐 (zìlián, self-pity). They should stay up late because they can’t stop 哭泣 (kūqì, crying), not because they want to snatch the best deals at midnight. Plus, so many of those sales are just 糊弄人 (hùnong rén, screwing people around).How am I supposed to know the difference between 定金(dìngjīn, down payment) and 訂金 (dìngjīn, deposit)? All those discounts are more complicated than rocket science! For every 尾款人 (wěikuǎnrén, people who have balance due)who is fooled by these shenanigans, I say 自求多福 (zìqiú duōfú, you’re on your own)!

Got questions for our Agony Ayi? Send them to agonyayi@theworldofchinese.com

Top: Horses kick up sprays in the river, as herders drive them home at dusk on the Ulan Butong Grassland

Right: Herders with their milu, a species of deer native to China,become part of the fall scenery on the grassland