巧用修辭，妙寫概要
——浙江高考新題型寫作指導

浙江

一、引語

概要寫作作為浙江高考英語新題型，與讀后續寫并列二選一。概要寫作提供一篇350 詞以內的短文，要求考生基于該短文寫出一篇60詞左右的內容概要。就概要寫作《考試說明》指出，閱卷時主要考慮：對原文要點的理解和呈現情況；應用語法結構和詞匯的準確性；上下文的連貫性；對各要點表達的獨立性情況。我們可將其總結為“四個性”：要點的全面性和獨立性，語言的準確性和連貫性?？蓮哪壳皩W生的概要寫作作品來看，還存在要點不全或不準、照搬原文、語言水平較低等不足之處。

修辭手法是增強語言表達效果的一門藝術，研究增強語言表達效果的規律，解決語言好不好的問題。筆者嘗試指導學生巧用修辭，幫助學生妙寫概要，現呈現如下。

二、巧用修辭，妙寫概要

（一）Climax（層遞）：邏輯清晰

英語修辭格Climax 就是幾個成分相同的詞、短語或者從句平行并列，使其按照一定的順序逐層依次遞進，如按照大小、輕重、深淺、多少等順序。這種修辭可以使語言排列整齊，邏輯清晰，氣勢貫通，從而起到加強語勢的作用。Climax 要符合三個條件：第一，并列的成分要有三項以上；第二，并列的成分所表達的事物要有一定的內在聯系；第三，所表達的事物要有一個遞增或遞減的層次。概要寫作的短文多為議論文或說明文，其中不乏并列要點。我們可以分析各要點之間的層遞關系，采用Climax 修辭表達出來，進行概括，以使語言簡潔、邏輯明晰。例如短文一（根據短文要點和本文需要，筆者對原文進行了改動或節選，下同）：

Every year,especially during the spring and early summer,the lives of many young animals are disrupted.People may attempt to“save”these animals,and more often than not,the mother is nearby.

Young rabbits found at a nest site do not need to be rescued.If you’ve kicked to open a nest,just replace the top of the nest,and leave.

Young birds are sometimes found on the ground near a nest.When this happens,the best thing to do is to put the bird carefully back into the nest.

When young raccoons are found out alone,it is likely that they are merely exploring and their mother is nearby.

If you find a young fawn lying alone,leave it there.The mother comes back several times each day to nurse the fawn.If you’ve already picked the fawn up and brought it home,put it back.

短文在第一段總起指出：通常人們想去“營救”動物，但其媽媽就在附近，無需人為“營救”。接下來，短文以兔子、幼鳥、浣熊和小鹿為例進行說明。通過分析這幾個例子，我們不難發現其從“家”到“外”，從動到靜的層遞關系：兔子在“家”里被發現，幼鳥在“家”附近被發現，浣熊獨自在外活動時被發現，小鹿獨自躺地時被發現。我們可以依照其層遞關系，對兔子、幼鳥、浣熊和小鹿的例子采用Climax 的修辭進行概括：

The passage mainly tells us that many animals are disrupted during the spring and early summer.（要點1）So the passage tells us how to prevent them from being bothered,

（要點2）including replacing the top of the nest, and leaving when opening the nest; putting the bird back into the nest when seeing a bird on the ground; leaving it alone when finding young raccoons out alone; leaving it there when finding a fawn lying alone.（要點3）

（二）Tautology（同義反復）：避免重復

英語修辭格Tautology 是指用意義相同或者相近的詞或者短語，替代已經使用過的某個詞或短語，形成意義相同或相近的詞或短語的反復使用。概要寫作要求60詞左右，在詞數不多的寫作中使用Tautology 修辭，可以避免重復用詞，形成一篇詞匯豐富的短文。例如短文二：

The majority of people say that by daydreaming we waste our time and energy in something that is nothing less than unproductive things.But many medical studies have showed something different.They’ve stressed on the fact that daydreaming works wonders on our imagination power,creativity and situation-handling technique.In fact,many problems can be easily solved if we daydream.

The topmost benefit of daydreaming is that your mood gets the right improvement.You get happiness from it and this happiness changes into a source of energy that helps you in working in a good mood.

Many psychologists have said that people who daydream tend to have a sharper memory.Since daydreaming activates the nerves of your brain,you tend to have higher attentiveness and your ability to remember things develop.

When you daydream,you automatically imagine yourself as your heart says and therefore,you get to know yourself better.

短文圍繞“daydreaming”（做白日夢）展開，重點闡述了做白日夢的好處。文章每一段都有自己的主題句，要點清晰。在寫作時，我們要注意語言的轉化，即盡量少使用原文語句；同時，要盡量避免重復使用詞語。短文闡述做白日夢對于情緒、記憶力和自我了解的好處時，分別使用了“help”“develop”和“get to know”三個動詞。我們可以對這三個動詞使用Tautology 修辭，既進行原語言的轉化，又避免詞語重復：

Most people regard daydreaming as a waste of time and energy.（要點1）However,that’s not the case.Many medical studies have found that daydreaming has a lot of benefits.First of all,daydreaming can keep you in a good mood.（要點2）What’s more,it helps improve your memory.（要點3）Last but not least,daydreaming assists you to know yourself better.（要點4）

（三）Anastrophe（倒置）：強調作用

英語修辭格Anastrophe 又叫Hyperbaton，是指為了修辭的目的，改變正常的主、謂、賓語序或者狀語、定語的位置。語序改變，基本意思不變，但語序的改變有其特定的意義與作用，會在附帶意義或感情色彩上有所差別。在英語中運用Anastrophe 修辭手法，主要有以下幾個作用：表示強調或側重，追求語言的側重美；更好地承接上文，追求語言的聯系美；保持語句的平衡，追求語言的平衡美；協調音韻，追求語言的音韻美。通常，為了表示強調或側重會運用Anastrophe 修辭，改變正常語序。在概要寫作中，對于總—分結構的文章，我們可以對總起觀點運用Anastrophe 修辭，進行強調，以加深印象。例如短文三：

Winter sports can help you burn calories,increase your cardiovascular fitness,and strengthen muscles.Being outdoors and getting exercise are great for your mental health.

Winter is a great time to experiment with new sports.

Whatever sports you choose,basic skills are needed and don’t rely on a friend for instruction.

Play safely by figuring out what special equipment and safety gear you’ll need.

Don’t head out onto the slopes or into remote country areas alone.Always go with a buddy and tell a friend what time you plan on returning.

短文三是一篇說明文，文章第一段提出主題：冬季運動不僅能健身，還能益心。我們可以使用not only...but also...語句結構，并對其使用Anastrophe 修辭，改變語序，對冬季運動的作用給予強調：

Not only can winter sports strengthen your physical body,but also benefit your mental health.（要點1）While there are many new sports in winter you can experiment with,（要點2）you should know some basic skills,（要點3）and don’t rely on a friend for instruction.（要點4）To play safely,you should figure out the special equipment and safety gear you’ll need,（要點5）and shouldn’t go out alone to faraway places.（要點6）

（四）Antithesis（對照）：形成反差

Antithesis 一詞源于希臘語，是“相反，相對”的意思。Antithesis 是指故意把相反或相對的詞、短語或從句用平行或對稱的結構排列起來，以表達相反或相對的意思，使得兩層概念互相對照，形成反差，以加強表達效果。如果文章中恰好有相對的概念，我們可以巧妙使用Antithesis修辭，形成反差，簡潔地概括文章內容。例如短文四：

During all kinds of holidays,millions of people will buy gifts for loved ones,which is great—except that tons of those people will make the same glaring mistake,and buy the wrong gift.What’s going on?

Gift buying has become a deceivingly selfish pursuit.We don’t actually look for things people want to receive.Instead,and to many of our gifts’ detriments,we tend to look for things that we want to give.It’s a subtle,but pretty significant problem.

The discrepancy seems to come from a simple misplaced belief that thoughtful presents are the best presents.They are not.In fact,they might just be the worst presents.The more thought you put into a present,the more likely you are to stray from buying what the person you’re buying the present for actually wants.

If that’s too callous,or impersonal,there’s another helpful rule of thumb.Instead of buying restrictive gifts,like gift cards for specific stores,buy gifts that allow for flexibility,like gift cards that can be used more broadly (or,better yet,cash).

短文四是一篇議論文，按照提出問題、分析問題和解決問題的順序組織文章。文章第一段提出問題：許多人會買錯禮物；第二、三段分析問題：購買禮物者往往只考慮自己的感受而忽略接受禮物者的感受，考慮越多則越容易買錯；最后一段提出解決問題的方法：禮物的靈活性和多用性是解決問題的關鍵。我們可以就其中相對的概念，采用Antithesis 修辭，簡要地概括文章內容，形成反差：

Although many people will buy gifts during holidays,some of them may buy the wrong gifts.（要點1）They buy what they want to give,instead of what the recipients require.（要點2）The thoughtful presents might be the worst present,and we should stop it.（要點3） Instead of buying restrictive gifts,we are supposed to buy flexible ones—versatility is the key to better gift giving.（要點4）

（五）Oxymoron（矛盾修辭法）：加強意義

Oxymoron 一詞源于希臘語，原意是敏銳的愚蠢。Oxymoron 是指并列使用兩個在意義上相互排斥或正好相反的詞語，以表達復雜的思想情感或意味深長的寓意。這種修辭格能深刻地揭示事物的矛盾統一，起到加強意義、加深印象的作用。在概要寫作中使用Oxymoron 的修辭手法，能簡單直入地揭示事物的矛盾本質，起到表達簡潔、意義深刻之功效。例如短文五：

Parents should think twice before rewarding their children’s good behavior with sweets,according to a leading nutritionist.

Professor Susan Jebb,of Oxford University,says family attitudes should change as part of a wider strategy on tackling obesity—and there should be an alternative to the“easy option”of handing out sweets to youngsters.

Speaking to the Sunday Express,Prof Jebb said,“Unless you instill good eating habits from a young age,it is likely that children will grow up to become overweight adults.But it is very difficult to persuade parents who see their children,who are a healthy weight,of the risks ahead.Unlike with smoking,where the benefits of giving up are obvious with evidence showing that every single cigarette shortens your life,the same cannot be said for every single biscuit you eat.”

She also welcomed last week’s comments by David Cameron that Britain’s obesity crisis should be treated as seriously as smoking and that a tax on sugary drinks could be back on the agenda.

短文五簡要介紹了Professor Susan Jebb 敦促家長如何正確對待孩子的肥胖癥，其中最后一個要點：家長不能用給孩子糖果的方法進行獎勵，因為會有肥胖的風險。我們可以使用Oxymoron 的修辭手法進行表達：

Parents are told to stop giving their children sweets as rewards for good behavior in latest bid,for it is a kind of sweet crisis.

（六）Parallelism（平行）：語氣連貫

Parallelism 是一種在語句結構上常用的修辭手法，是指用相同或相似的結構來表達兩個或兩個以上的相同、相似或相關的事物。其所表達的幾個事物在重要性上是相等的，在意義上是平行的。使用這種修辭手法，可以突出語言的意義，明晰概念，使語氣更加連貫。對于短文中的平行概念，我們可以使用Parallelism 修辭進行概要寫作，使之文氣貫通，讀起來朗朗上口。例如短文六：

Is there a way to turn back the clock on your age? A new study says yes.Exercise can make you younger.At least it can lower your fitness age—that is the measure of how well your body works.

A study of athletes in the National Senior Games found that their fitness age was more than 20 years younger than their chronological age.The games took place in the Midwestern state of Minnesota.

Tony Diamond took part in the games.Every morning he went to a local park and walked fast for an hour.Then,the retired navy captain ran for an hour.

Two or three times a week,he went to a gym for muscle training.Mr.Diamond won three medals at the 2015 National Senior Games.

“My current age is 86 years old,and my fitness age is 44.I think I have such a good number because I do a lot of exercise during my life.I have been exercising since I was a little boy.”

Helen White is a basketball player.She also teaches the sport to senior groups.And she plays pickleball.She won a sliver medal in pickleball at the 2013 National Senior Games.

“I’m 62 years old and my fitness results showed that I was 32 years.”

Ms.White and Mr.Diamond are some of the 5 000 senior Games participants who took part in the fitness age study.

短文六是一篇議論文，主要表達了“鍛煉降低體能年齡”的觀點，并以兩個人物舉例說明：他們都是因為進行了鍛煉才更年輕。我們可以對兩個例子使用Parallelism 修辭進行概要寫作：

Mr.Diamond looks younger than his chronological age because of his going to a gym regularly.（要點1）Ms.White is 62 years old but her fitness age is 32 years old because of regular exercise.（要點2）

三、建議

概要寫作作為寫作新題型，要求高，難度大，而應用修辭手法，不僅為學生提高寫作水平開辟了新途徑，也為教師的教學提供了新思路。在實踐中，筆者建議遵循兩個原則：

（一）主體性原則

教師要尊重學生的主體地位，策略教學應該以學生的策略認知、理解、運用和評價為核心，循序漸進，啟發思維，鼓勵為主，適時表揚。教師可讓學生寫初稿，再討論、分析修辭手法的介入點，并逐步改進。

（二）忠實性原則

概要寫作應該忠于原文內容，切不可為了應用修辭而生硬地搬用或改變原文的內容、觀點和行文風格等。修辭手法是為了錦上添花，切不可弄巧成拙。