Jokes

In the Restaurant

Customer： Excuse me， there is a fly in my porridge.

Waiter： Dont worry， sir. That spider on your bread will soon get him.

在餐館

顧客：打擾一下，我的粥里有一只蒼蠅。

服務生：別擔心，先生。你面包上的蜘蛛很快就會吃掉它。

A Businessmans Idea

A family moved from the city to the suburbs， and were told they ought to get a watchdog to guard their house.

So they bought the largest dog available from a near-by dealer.

Shortly afterwards the house was broken into at night by burglars while the dog was asleep. The householder went to the dealer and told him about it.

“Well， what you need now，” said the dealer， “is a little dog to wake up the dog.”

商人的主意

一戶人家從城里搬到郊區，有人告訴他們應該買一條看門狗來守家。

于是他們就去附近的一個商人那里買了一條最大的狗。

不久之后，夜賊闖進他們家時，那條狗卻一直在睡覺。這位房主去找那個商人告訴他這件事。

“那么，”商人說，“你們現在還需要一條小狗來叫醒這條狗?！?/p>

Only Once

A novice lion tamer was being interviewed. “I understand your father was also a lion tamer，” he reporter queried.

“Yes， he was，” the man replied.

“Do you actually put your head in the lions mouth？”

“I did it only once，” said the new tamer， “to look for Dad.”

只有一次

一位馴獅新手正在接受采訪?！拔抑滥愕母赣H也是個馴獅手，”記者問道。

“他過去是?！蹦侨嘶卮鹫f。

“你真的把頭伸進過獅子的嘴里嗎？”

“只有一次，”那位馴獅新手說，“為了找我爸爸?！?/p>

A Poor Poet

Dad： I hope youve received the poems.

Mom： Its very nice. I wonder where Ive put it？

Son： Its under the leg of the table to make it steady.

一名可憐的詩人

爸爸：我希望你已經收到那些詩了。

媽媽：收到了。我把它放哪兒去了呢？

兒子：你為了讓桌子立得更穩，把那些詩稿墊桌子腿了。

Good News and Bad News

“Theres good news and bad news”， the divorce lawyer told his client.

“I could sure use some good news，” sighed the client. “Whats it？”

“Your wife isnt demanding that your future inheritances be included in the settlement.”

“And the bad news？ ”

“After the divorce， shes marrying your father.”

好消息和壞消息

“有好消息，也有壞消息，”離婚律師告訴他的當事人。

“我總能利用一些好消息吧，”當事人嘆了口氣說，“是什么好消息？”

“你妻子沒有要求將你未來的繼承財產也劃入裁決的范圍?！?/p>

“那么壞消息呢？”

“離婚以后，她將與你父親結婚?！?/p>

（本刊資料）