我相信你

by Gaby Dunn

Hey.

I believe in you.

Maybe you think no one does. Maybe youve been a disappointment so long you dont even remember what it was like to look up and see a light ahead， 1）indicating a future full of love， happiness and goals. Its a never-ending 2）spiral—you made a mistake， people stopped believing in you， and then you 3）resigned yourself to being a 4）perpetual mess and stopped trying. You think no one believes in you or that you dont need someone to 5）step up to the plate for you because you 6）reject them before they can reject you. You dont need them， you think， but its a reaction to feeling unneeded by others. You 7）brush it off， laugh at the 8）platitudes， steel yourself against anyone trying to 9）breach the gates.

Everybody needs someone else to believe in them. You think you dont because youve been hurt before， because you left yourself open to 10）wounding when you asked someone to believe in you. So you stopped and built a wall. You decided you needed no one. But it still hurts， doesnt it？

Youre not happy. There are things you want that you dont pursue. Youd rather come up with excuses， or 11）sabotage， or not try at all than try and fail， than to prove right what you think everyone believes about you and so too what you believe about yourself. 12）God forbid， you go 13）out on another limb to move forward in life and it 14）backfires. You dont think youd be able to take it. It would only 15）solidify what you think you already know about yourself： that you are worthless and nothing， that youll never be the person you want to be.

Youre wrong. Youre so， so wrong. Whatever it is you want， you should go for it. You can do it. Youll face 16）pitfalls and rejection， but I have no doubt you can accomplish whatever it is. Maybe youll take some 17）detours， but thats just life. Thats what everyone has to do. Nothing is ever 18）set in stone， as they say. Dont make excuses based on age or income or 19）gender. Dont place limits on yourself and then 20）wallow in 21）self-pity for things that are out of your control. Focus on what you do have 22）power over. Use that to reach your goals.

And if not me， how about you let someone in？ Let that person who wants to love and believe in you break down your 23）barriers. The comedian Mike Birbiglia注 describes“love” as when someone else recognizes that special part of you that， no matter how low your 24）self-esteem， still 25）desperately hopes is there. When someone else sees that in you， you feel 26）invincible. But you can also be let down. Dont be afraid of letting someone believe in you. They must see something you dont quite see yet.

Or believe in yourself. If you dont think other people 27）have faith in you， dont let it 28）convince you that you are nothing. Have 29）immense faith in yourself. Dont invent patterns where there arent any. Dont lose hope that things can change at any moment. Dont resign yourself because others havent believed in you or because you just havent found what it is youre looking for. Especially if youre young. Its wasteful to start thinking like life is over before its really begun.

So theres some 30）food for thought. And even if you dont need it， Ill tell you：

Someone believes in you. I believe in you.

嘿。

我相信你。

或許，你認為沒有人會（相信你）?；蛟S，在失意中徘徊了那么久，你甚至不記得抬頭直視上方光束是什么感覺——那是指引著你通向充滿愛、幸福與目標的未來的感覺。這是一條永無止境的螺旋線——你犯了一個錯誤，人們不再相信你，然后你自暴自棄，放任自己沉淪在無休止的混亂中，連嘗試都放棄了。你認為沒有人相信你，或者你不需要任何人站出來為你說話，因為你在他們拒絕你之前已經拒絕他們了。你并不需要他們，你想，但其實這只是你害怕自己不被他人需要所作出的反應罷了。你對此避而不談，恣意嘲笑那些陳詞濫調，死死地封閉自己，不讓任何人破門而入。

每個人都需要他人的信任。你之所以不這么認為，是因為你之前被傷害過，因為當你敞開心扉向某個人尋求信任時，你被狠狠地傷害過。就這樣，你放棄了期望，筑起了心墻。你決定不再需要任何人（的信任）。但這樣做仍然會痛苦，不是嗎？

你并不快樂。你有所向往，卻不敢追求。你要么找借口搪塞自己，要么消極怠工，要么完全不作任何嘗試，以免做了卻遭遇失敗，從而證明你認為他人對你和你對自己的看法的猜想都是真的。但愿不會如此！你孤立無援地在生活的道路上前進，卻總是事與愿違。你認為自己無法承受這一切。就這樣，你強化了對自己的預設：你一文不值；你永遠都不會成為你想要成為的那個人。

你錯了，大錯特錯。無論你想要什么，都得放手去追求。你能做到的。你會面臨誘惑，也會遭到拒絕，但最終你會凱旋而歸，對此我深信不疑。也許，你會走些彎路，但這就是生活。這是每個人都得走的路。正如他們所說，沒有什么是一成不變的。不要拿年齡、收入或性別當借口，不要給自己套上枷鎖，不要因為一些你無法控制的事情而陷入自怨自艾中。集中精力在你能拿捏得住的事情上，以此實現你的目標。

如果不是我，就讓某個人走進你的內心好嗎？讓那個想去愛你、相信你的人打破你心中的壁壘吧！喜劇演員邁克·比爾比利亞曾這樣形容“愛”：有一個人能發現你的特別之處，不管你多么自卑，他仍舊不顧一切地希望你保持原樣。當某個人能看到你身上的這一點時，你就會感到自己所向無敵。當然，你也可能會失望。別害怕，讓別人相信你吧！他們肯定看到了你自己未曾看到的閃光之處。

要不，就相信自己吧！如果你認為別人不相信你，你也千萬不要認為自己一文不值。最大限度地相信自己吧！不要虛構那些根本不存在的東西；一切皆有變數，不要放棄希望；不要因為他人不相信你，或是因為你沒有找到你一直在尋找的東西就聽天由命。尤其是如果你年紀輕輕，生活還未真正開始，就開始折騰生活就此結束之類的問題，這簡直是在浪費生命。

所以這是讓你思考的一些話。即使你并不需要，我都得告訴你：

有人相信你。我相信你。