TAKE SOME TIME OUT FOR LOVE

By Mao Li

My friend grumbled that she had to fire her nanny.It was the first time she had to do such a thing.

The reason made our jaws drop.The live-in nanny often snuck out without her permission.She would only send a message when she left:“I’ve got to run an errand.”

Such a message would upset my friend,for she had to worry about picking up the kids and preparing supper.When she asked the nanny when she would come back home,all she could get was a quick reply of ASAP.And then,at 21:00,the nanny would send a message apologizing that she wouldn’t be able to come back that night.

What kept her sneaking out?It turned out that the 42-year-old nanny was in love with a fellow townsman.The man was 33 years old.When my friend saw their photo,she couldn’t believe her eyes.The man was unexpectedly tall and handsome.

Even though she fired her,my friend actually admired the nanny.A 42-year-old woman could hang out all night with her lover,just like a 24-year-old girl.She really got her own way and maybe she would start living for herself.

As soon as my friend finished the story,another friend started complaining that she had not met any unmarried men since she came to Shanghai a year ago.She wondered what was wrong with her?

My conclusion was that it was much easier for blue-collar workers to start a relationship,rather than white-collar workers.

Once I went out for dinner and saw a dozen delivery riders resting on their e-bikes waiting for orders.A delivery girl sat close to a delivery guy,their hands held together.Another delivery guy teased them,“If you spent less time being lovey-dovey,you could get more orders.”

The girl pursed her lips and made a gesture to playfully hit the man,but she just raised her hand and then leaned back on her boyfriend’s shoulder.They were so adorable.

There was a vegetable delivery man in our community.I was amused by the words written on the back of his delivery basket“Forget him! I will take care of you by delivering vegetables!”What a humorous person! He was advertising his singleness.

Fatiguing physical labor and plain work suits never prevent physical workers from their pursuit of love.In contrast,my female friends in fashionable clothes who work for the fortune 500 companies only talk about dating and marriage,but can’t be bothered to go out after work.They would rather order takeaway on a mobile app than meet friends at a restaurant.And they’d prefer to spend their time online arguing with strangers on such topics as whether an independent woman should take a betrothal gift rather than go back to their hometown for an arranged date.

朋友很氣憤，說這么多年從來沒開除過阿姨，這次不得不這樣做。

故事一說，讓人嘖嘖稱奇。原來，她家的住家阿姨最近老是偷偷溜出去玩，走之前不打招呼，溜出去后才發個消息說：有事出去一趟。主人十分著急，她走了，誰接小孩？晚飯怎么辦？問大概多久回來，只有一句：盡快回來。直到晚上9 點，發來消息說：很抱歉，晚上回不來了。

到底什么急事？42 歲的阿姨正在談著火熱的戀愛。對方是阿姨的老鄉，33 歲，看到兩人的合影，朋友嚇了一跳，竟然是這么高大英俊的男人。

雖然開除了阿姨，內心卻對她很敬佩，42 歲像24 歲一樣夜不歸宿談戀愛，阿姨也算活出了自我，大概后半輩子真的要為自己活了。

這邊朋友剛說完這件事，那邊另一個朋友來吐槽，搬來上海工作一年，竟然連一個單身男人都不認識，到底怎么回事??？

我的結論是：勞動人民談戀愛，比白領、中產們容易多了。

有一次出去吃飯，看到十來個外賣員騎著電動車，其中有個女騎手緊緊挨著另一個男騎手，兩人手拉手，被另一個男騎手嘲笑：你倆膩歪這工夫，少接多少單啊，單子都被人搶沒啦。女騎手作勢要打那男的，沖出去，揚了兩下手，又回到男朋友旁邊。這甜蜜勁兒，看得人羨慕不已。

在我們小區里碰到一個送菜的，裝菜的筐上寫著“忘了他吧，我送菜養你”。暗笑之余，我覺得這哥們兒挺有意思，陽光向上，給單身的自己打廣告呢。

I suspect it is closely connected with our sedentary lifestyle.Humans are also animals.Physical workers who constantly move their hands and legs at work still retain their basic instincts.

However,the so-called whitecollar workers,who barely do physical work,and maintain their life just by ordering housekeeping,takeaway,and taxi services,probably have lost their basic instincts.Spending their days and nights in front of the computer,why on earth do they need a relationship with a real person?Why would they bother going to the cinema,shopping,and having meals at restaurants with others?

It’s too much for them.Most of their needs can be met by just tapping on the screen.What instincts do they have? They will only feel restless when their smart phone battery is dead.

It seems that the secret of having a relationship is to move your body.A divorced female friend with two kids met a handsome boyfriend in a gymnasium.It was hard for her to find a boyfriend on the marriage market,but she found her love exercising.Another friend met her boyfriend in a marathon club.They ran several 10 km races together and it was quite easy and natural for them to add each other as WeChat friends when buying bottled water.

I now understand why love stories often happen on a journey.When one moves their body,their basic instincts start to work.

Therefore,when you feel that it’s hard to find a boyfriend,and that a relationship is less pleasing than a romantic Korean drama,try go out and move your body.Be it taking a part-time job as a delivery rider or exercising in a fitness club,the time out on the move might help you find your true love.

(FromVista,Issue 4,2021.Translation:Li Li)

雖然干活又累又辛苦，但勞動人民毫不掩飾對愛情的熱烈追求。我那些在世界500 強企業上班、每天打扮得光鮮靚麗的女性朋友們，說著要談戀愛、要結婚，其實下了班，連房門都不愿意出，寧愿點外賣，不愿意出門參加活動；寧愿在網上跟陌生網友大吵幾百回合，辯論獨立女性該不該收彩禮，卻不愿意動動腿，回家相趟親。

我甚至懷疑，這是不是跟成年人久坐不動有關？人類終究還是動物，體力勞動者每天雖然奔波勞碌，好歹手腳勤快，經脈暢通，舒經活血，終究維持著體內強烈的動物本能。

像我們這種四體不勤、五谷不分，連做家務都要叫阿姨上門，吃飯全靠外賣活著，上班把車叫到家門口的所謂腦力勞動者，或許真的已經沒有動物本能。每天都在電腦前坐著，為什么還需要跟一個活的、動的人戀愛？還要跟這個人出門看電影、逛街、吃飯？

這真的太強人所難，動動手指頭就能解決生活絕大部分需要，本能是什么？只有手里的智能手機忽然沒電，才會覺得撓心撓肺。

看來，戀愛的首要秘訣很可能是先動起來。一位帶著兩個小孩離異的女性朋友，在健身房找到帥氣男友，傳統婚姻市場上，她這屬于困難戶，可只要跳的操夠多，她就能找到新戀情。還有朋友是在馬拉松跑團里認識的男朋友，一起跑了幾個10 公里，買瓶水的工夫，交換一下微信，這不是挺方便、挺理所當然的嗎？

我現在終于明白了，旅行為什么總有戀愛產生。當人不停地跑動時，或許動物本能真的開始周身彌漫開來。

當你對80 后男人不滿意，覺得90 后男人也不怎么樣，談戀愛太麻煩，還不如追一部韓劇愉快時，不如兼職外賣員，去接接單，緣份也許就在此中？

（摘自《看天下》2021年第4期）