善良的心

向偉強

Everyone in the apartment complex I lived in knew who Ugly was. Ugly was the resident tomcat. Ugly loved three things in this world： fighting， eating garbage， and， shall we say， love.

The combination of these things combined with a life spent outside had their effect on Ug- ly. To start with， he had only one eye and where the other should have been was a gaping hole. He was also missing his ear on the same side， his left foot appeared to have been badly bro- ken at one time， and had healed at an unnatural angle， making him look like he was always turning the corner. His tail has long age been lost， leaving only the smallest stub， which he would constantly jerk and twitch.

Ugly would have been a dark grey tabby， striped-type， except for the sores covering his head， neck， even his shoulders with thick， yel- lowing scabs. Every time someone saw Ugly there was the same reaction.“That s one UG- LY cat??！”

All the children were warned not to touch him， the adults threw rocks at him， hosed him down， squirted him when he tried to come in their home or shut his paws in the door when he would not leave. Ugly always had the same reaction. If you turned the hose on him， he would stand there， getting soaked until you gave up and quit. If you threw things at him， he would curl his lanky body around feet in for- giveness.

我住的公寓大樓里的每個人都認得這只丑八怪。丑八怪曾是小區里的流浪貓。在這個世界上他只喜歡做三件事：戰斗、吃垃圾，還有，應該說是愛吧。

生命中的這三件事再加上流浪的生活造就了這只丑八怪：他只有一只眼睛，另一邊則成了一個大窟窿。同一側的耳朵也沒有了，他的一只左腳看起來也受過傷，痊愈后的樣子變成了個極不自然的斜角，使他看起來總像是在不停地轉彎。他的尾巴大部分也都不見了，只剩下一個短小的咎，卻像是始終在不停地搖呀，搖呀。

丑八怪應該屬于一條深灰色的虎斑貓，條紋的那種，當然除了他頭上、脖子上和肩膀上那些帶著厚厚的黃色痂子的瘡口。每次有人看到丑八怪都會只有一個反應：“真是只難看的丑八怪”。

所有的孩子們都被告知不能觸摸他，大人們用石子丟他，用水管澆他；當他進屋的時候用水槍射他，當他不肯離去的時候用門擠他的爪子?？沙蟀斯种挥幸粋€反應：如果你用水管澆他，他只會站在那兒被淋得通透，直到你放棄到停止；如果你朝他丟東西，他則把瘦長的身體蜷縮在腳上，連帶其早已寬恕之心。

Whenever he spied children， he would come running， meowing frantically and bump his head against their hand begging for their love. If you ever picked him， up he would im- mediately begin suckling on your shirt， earring whatever he could find.

One day Ugly shared his love with the neighbor s huskies. They did not respond kind- ly， and Ugly was badly mauled. From my apart- ment I could hear his scream and I tried to rush to his aid. By the time I got to where he was laying， it was apparent Ugly s sad life was al- most at an end.

Ugly lay in a wet circle， his back legs and lower back twisted grossly out of shape， a gap- ing tear in the white strip of fur that ran down his front. As I picked him up and tried to carry him home， I could hear him wheezing and gasp- ing， and could feel him struggling. It must be hurting him terribly， I thought.

Then I felt a familiar tugging， sucking sen- sation on my ear. Ugly， in so much pain， suffer- ing and obviously dying， was trying to suckle my ear. I pulled him closer to me， and he bumped the palm of my hand with his head， then he turned his one golden eye towards me， and I could hear the distinct sound of purring. Even in the greatest pain， that ugly battled- scarred cat was asking only for a little affec- tion， perhaps some compassion.

At that moment I thought Ugly was the most beautiful， loving creature I had ever seen. Never once did he try to bite or scratch me， or even try to get away from me， or struggle in any way. Ugly just looked up at me completely trusting in me to relieve his pain.

Ugly died in my arms before I could get in-

每 次 他 看 到 孩 子 都 會 跑 過 去“ 喵 ！ 喵！……”，瘋狂地喊叫，并用他的頭在孩子 們的手上使勁兒蹭，祈求他們的憐愛。倘若 你把他抱起來，他馬上就會開始吸吮你的襯 衫、耳環……一切他能找到的東西。

一天丑八怪將愛分享給了鄰居家的哈 士奇們，可對方卻并沒有報以慈悲，小丑被 撕咬得很嚴重。從我的公寓里聽見了他的 尖叫聲，我努力沖過去救他?？僧斘业搅怂?躺著的地方，看到的幾乎就是他悲慘一生的 終點。

丑八怪躺在一個潮濕的水坑里，他的后 腿和下背部蜷在了一起、血肉模糊，皮毛白 色條紋上大口子也被撕到了前身。當我把 它撿起來試圖帶他回家的時候，我還可以聽 到他的喘息，還可以感到他的掙扎。我知 道，他一定是傷得太重了。

突然我感到了一陣熟悉的拽曳，耳朵上 也有了被吸吮的感覺。丑八怪，正背負著極 大的痛苦、煎熬，甚至是瀕臨的死亡，竟在嘗 試著吸吮我的耳朵。我將他貼近了些，他便 開始用他的頭蹭我的手掌，接著，他以那只 金黃色的眼睛看著我，而我也聽到了那衰竭 的呼吸聲。盡管身負劇痛，這只丑陋的滿身 戰傷的丑八怪所央求的卻只是一點點的慈 愛，或者也只是一點點的憐憫。

在那時，我覺得丑八怪是我所見過的最 美麗的、最有愛的生靈。他從來沒試圖咬過 或抓過我，甚至都沒有躲過或掙脫我。丑八 怪只是用那充滿信任的眼神看著我，去祛除 他的痛苦。

還沒進門，丑八怪就死在了我的懷里，

side， but I sat and held him for a long time afterward thinking about how one scarred， deformed little stray could so alter my opinion about what it means to have true pureness of spirit， to love so totally and truly. Ugly taught me more about giving and compassion than a thousand book lecture or talk show specials ever could， and for that I will always be thankful. He had been scarred on the outside， but I was scarred on the inside， and it was time for me to move on and learn to love truly and deeply. To give my total to those I cared for.

Many people want to be richer， more successful， well liked， beautiful， but for me， I will always try to be Ugly.

但之后我抱著他坐了許久，我在想一只滿身 傷疤的畸形小流浪貓如何改變了我對純凈 心靈的理解——去愛得如此不顧一切、如此 真誠。丑八怪教與我的付出與憐憫勝過讀 萬卷書，也正因如此我將永遠心存感激。他 的傷疤烙在了外在，而我的內在卻早已傷痕 累累。是時候忘掉過去往前看，學會愛得真 實、愛得深刻。將我的所有給與那些我在意 的人。

許多人追求更富貴、更成功、更迷人、更 美麗，而我，將永遠去追求做一只丑八怪。