跟著名著學續寫之朋友教育

王宏瑜

在青少年的成長過程中，朋友扮演著重要的角色。本次讀后續寫將以美國作家文德琳·范·德拉安南創作的《怦然心動》為例，講述一個起于誤會和偏見、終于成長的故事。小說的特別之處在于整個故事是在兩個主人公輪流的自述中發展的，讓讀者從不同的視角看待和思考一件事，感受主人公們不同的心理感受，最終跟著兩個主人公一起成長和蛻變。因為是以第一人稱進行敘述的，小說中有大量的心理描寫和動作描寫，值得我們學習和借鑒。

主題微語境

二年級時相遇的朱莉·貝克和布萊斯簡直就像進入了兩個平行時空。朱莉在看到布萊斯那藍眼睛的一瞬間，心就被擊中了。不幸的是，布萊斯從一開始就對朱莉的熱情避而遠之，甚至覺得她和她的家都有點邋遢。而且，他認為朱莉有點怪，怎么會有人把養雞和坐在樹上看成樂趣呢？沒想到，到了八年級，布萊斯開始覺得朱莉不同尋常的興趣和對家庭的自豪感使她顯得很有魅力。而朱莉則開始覺得布萊斯漂亮的藍眼睛也許和他本人一樣，其實很空洞。在經歷了一系列溫馨而有趣的事件之后，兩個孩子都開始重新認識彼此和這個世界了。

一、偏見/誤解

1. All Ive ever wanted is for Juli Baker to leave me alone. For her to back off—youknow， just give me some space. 一直以來我最大的希望就是讓朱莉·貝克離我遠一點。讓她走開一點，給我點私人空間。

2. The first day I met Bryce Loski， I flipped. Honestly， one look at him and I becamea lunatic. 第一天見到布萊斯·洛斯基，我心動了。老實說，只看他一眼我就錯亂了。

3. Her shoes were like caked with the stuff. She didnt hop out， though. Instead，she planted her rear end on the floor and started pushing a big box with her feet. 她的鞋子上沾滿了臟東西。但是她并沒有跳下去，相反，她一屁股坐下去開始用腳推一個箱子。

4. Its his eyes. Something in his eyes. Theyre blue， and framed in the blackness ofhis lashes， theyre dazzling. Absolutely breathtaking. 是他的眼睛。他眼睛里的東西。藍色的眼睛，鑲嵌在黑色的睫毛中間，是那么耀眼，太讓人驚艷了。

5. Finally， I break free and do the only manly thing available when youre sevenyears old—I dive behind my mother. 我終于掙脫開，做了七歲男孩唯一能做的充滿男子氣概的事——躲到媽媽身后。

6. I was too excited not to charge across the street， but I did try very hard to becivilized once I got to the moving van. I stood outside looking in for a record?breakinglength of time， which was hard because there he was！ 我太興奮了以至于無法抑制自己不沖到街對面，但當我看到開過來的面包車時，我非常努力地想表現得文明有禮。我站在外面向里張望了大概能破紀錄的時間，那已經很難了，因為他就在那里。

7. You know， like the world is moving all around you， all beneath you， all insideyou， and youre floating. Floating in midair. And the only thing keeping you from driftingaway is the other persons eyes. Theyre connected to yours by some invisible physicalforce， and they hold you fast while the rest of the world swirls and twirls and falls com?pletely away. 你知道的，就像整個世界在圍著你轉一樣，在你腳下，在你的身體里，你的身體漂浮起來了，飄在半空中。唯一有一樣能防止你飄走的東西就是那個人的眼睛，他的眼睛和你的眼睛通過一種無形的力量連接在一起，那雙眼睛緊緊地抓住你，而世界的其余部分在不斷地旋轉直到徹底消失。

8. But before I got up the nerve to look， she blasted right past me， grabbing myarm and yanking me along. 但是在我還沒有勇氣抬起頭看的時候，她猛沖過來，抓住我的胳膊并把我拉到一邊。

9. You see， I caught up to him and grabbed his arm， trying to stop him so maybe wecould play a little before he got trapped inside， and the next thing I know hes holdingmy hand， looking right into my eyes. My heart stopped. 你看，我追上他，抓住他的胳膊，試圖拉住他跟他玩一會兒，省的他被困在屋子里出不來?？墒窍乱豢涛夷苡浀玫木褪撬麪恐业氖?，直直地看著我的眼睛，我的心臟都停止了跳動。

二、影響/反轉

△ 成長的瞬間

1. The higher I got， the more amazed I was by the view. 我爬得越高，越為眼前的景色所驚嘆。

2. Some days theyd （the sunsets） be purple and pink， some days theyd be a blazingorange， setting fire to clouds across the horizon. It was on a day like that when my fathersnotion of the whole being greater than the sum of its parts moved from my head to my heart.有時它們（晚霞）是紫色夾雜著粉色，有時它們散發出橘紅色的火光，點燃天邊的云彩。在一個那樣的日子里，我突然領悟到爸爸關于整體勝于局部之和的道理。

3. Some of us get dipped in flat， some in satin， some in gloss. But every once in awhile you find someone whos iridescent， and when you do， nothing will ever compare. 有些人平庸淺薄，有些人金玉其外而敗絮其中。但不經意間你會遇到一個絢爛如彩虹的人，從此以后，其他人不過是匆匆浮云。

△ 反轉

1. When she walked out of the door， I thought back to the first time I saw her. Howcould anybody， ever， had wanted to run away from Juli Baker. 當她走出門去，我想起了第一次見她時候的情景。怎么會有人要躲著朱莉·貝克呢！

2. And I realized Garrett was right about one thing： I had flipped. Completely！ 我意識到加勒特有一件事是對的：我心動了，徹底地！

三、成長蛻變

△ 布萊斯的變化

1. And I got so nervous about having nothing to say that my heart started going wackoon me， hammering like it does right before a race or a game or something. 對于說不出話這件事我太緊張了，以至于我的心開始狂跳，就像我馬上要開始賽跑或者比賽之類的事情的時候一樣。

2. I sat down across from her， feeling pretty low. Why hadn't I said something to Gar?rett in the library？ 我坐在她的對面，心情極其低落。為什么我之前在圖書館就沒對加勒特說點什么呢？

3. I managed a nod， but my arm was tingling， and my heart was pounding， and Ifelt myself pulling toward her. Then she was gone. I tried to catch my breath. What wasthat？ What was wrong with me？ 我勉強點了點頭，但是我的胳膊在刺痛，我的心在狂跳，我感到自己在不自覺地靠近她。然后她就離開了。我試圖喘口氣，這到底怎么回事？我到底怎么了？

4. They were just...real. And who were we？ There was something spinning wickedlyout of control inside this house. It was like seeing inside the Bakers' world had opened upwindows into our own， and the view was not a pretty one. Where had all this stuff comefrom？ And why hadn't I ever seen it before. 他們很真實。而我們又是誰？這個家里有什么東西邪惡地旋轉著，失去了控制。就好像通過看貝克一家的世界，也為我們自己的世界打開了一扇窗戶，而窗外的景觀并不太好看。這些難看的東西到底從哪里來？為什么之前我沒有看見？

△ 朱莉的變化

1. Friday at school I avoided the blue?eyed brat the best I could， but that night as I? got dressed， I found myself staring at the painting my father had given me and became furi?ous all over again. Bryce had never been a friend to me， ever！ He hadn't made a stand forthe tree， he'd thrown away my eggs， and he'd made fun of me at my uncles expense... 星期五在學校的時候，我盡可能地避開那雙藍色的眼睛，但是那晚當我換衣服時，我發現自己盯著那幅爸爸給我的畫，又變得很生氣。布萊斯從來沒把我當成朋友。他沒有為那棵樹力挺我，他扔掉了我的雞蛋，還因為我叔叔取笑我……

2. He said hi to me and I lost it. I spun on him， snapping，“ Don't you speak to me！ Ioverheard you and Garrett in the library， and I don't want to talk to you now or ever！” 他跟我打招呼，我沒理他。我猛回身，厲聲說道：“不要跟我說話！我聽到你和加勒特在圖書館說的話了，我從今往后都不想跟你說話了！”

3. Our eyes locked for a minute， and for the first time the blueness of his didn'tfreeze up my brain. 我們對視了大概一分鐘，他那雙藍眼睛第一次沒有讓我的大腦停止運轉。

句式微練習

讓動作描寫更生動

構建續寫情節時，細致到位的動作描寫，可以讓讀者聯想出畫面，引人入勝，增強感染力，使描述更生動形象。

1.謂語動詞的并列+非謂語

I tried to shake her off， but she just clamped on tight and yanked me along， saying，“Cmon！” 我試圖甩開她，但是她雙手緊緊地抱住我，一路拉著我，說道：“來嘛！”

2.巧用before和while等連詞突出動作的迅捷

I'd slump beneath the window and pray for the light to change before Juli squealed myname for the world to hear. 我躲在窗下，祈禱在朱莉尖叫著讓全世界都聽到我的名字之前燈趕緊熄滅。

3.利用局部肢體刻畫慢動作

She planted her rear end on the floor and started pushing a big box with her feet.“Don't you want some help？” 她一屁股坐在地板上，開始用雙腳推一個大箱子?！澳悴恍枰獛椭鷨?？”

即學即練

1. （2021年新高考Ⅰ卷） They put some rice into a pot of water and left it to boil_______________（他們一邊做法式吐司）.

2. （2022 年新高考Ⅰ卷） After making sure that David could run if he wanted， Iturned to find him_________________as he________________（朝我走來，當他向前擺動雙腳時，他小小的身體左右搖晃）.

3. （2016年10月浙江卷） ________________（現在感到有點力氣了）， Jane began to_____________-（開始沿著小溪走，希望它能將她引向湖邊）.

情境微仿寫

Then came the Rajasthan IV trip which was our official last trip. During the trip， weintentionally avoided each other. However， 1._______________（我忍不住一直瞥向她）when she turned back and I sensed the same. 2. _______________（尷尬像陰影一樣沉重）. 3._______________（我一個人低著頭坐著，突然有一個人走近了）. I looked up，4. _______________（驚訝地發現Rishi在我面前）. 5._______________（紅著臉，她打破了安靜），“ I am sorry again. I didn't mean to hurt you.” 6. _______________（淚流滿面）， she continued，“ I should have talked to you earlier.” 7._______________（我站起來伸出手擁抱她），“ I am sorry， too. I should have been more generous.” At that mo?ment， we both realized we were an indispensable part of each other's life.

It's been almost 7 years after graduation since we picked up our friendship. Lookingback， 8._____________（我依然很感激她邁出與我和好的那一步）. Till now， shehas been one of the few people I can trust and count on. Our major offered us the samebackground so that we supported each other in our professional development. Of course， wehad argument from time to time. But 9. _____________（在內心深處）， we both know10. _____________（所有的爭吵都是在幫助我們變成更好的人而不是敵人）.Therefore， we both learned to be tolerant and brave enough to always forgive. If we really?value our friends and friendship， 11. _____________（永遠珍惜他們的存在）and show willingness to maintain and nurture the relationship.

語篇微演練

閱讀下列短文，根據其內容和所給段落開頭語續寫文章，使之構成一篇完整的短文。注意續寫詞數應為150左右。

主題1 迥然不同的搭檔

（2022年1月浙江卷）When Dr. Henderson was assigning（指定）project mates for hispsychology class， I secretly hoped he would pair me with my best friend or at least a class?mate I could have some fun with. Above all， I hoped he wouldn't assign me to work with thefiercely competitive and extremely serious fellow who always wore dark clothes and appa?rently had a personality to match. As fate（命運）would have it， Dr. Henderson very delibe?rately matched everyone in class and announced that I would be working with the one per?son in class I wanted to avoid.

I went up to my new teammate and introduced myself. He looked at me as though Iweren't there. I felt he treated me as though I would hold him back and probably make himfail to get an A in the course. He wasn't mean or abusive; he just gave me the impression hecould do whatever project we dreamed up better if he did it alone.

Needless to say， I didn't look forward to an entire term of being brushed off， but I triedto make the best of it and didn't say anything for fear that I would make things worse.

The project required each team to develop a hypothesis（假說）， set up an experimentto test the hypothesis， do the statistical analysis and present the findings. What?ever grade the team received would be shared by both students.

When my teammate and I met to discuss our project， I was uneasy. Here was this chal?lenging student who had a reputation for single?mindedness and good grades—the exact op?posite of me. I actually wanted to drop the class at one point， but stopped short because Ididnt want to give him the satisfaction of my chickening out. I decided to stick to it no mat?ter what.

After long discussions， we somehow agreed to do a study on the psychological well?being of teenagers. I wasn't sure what it meant exactly， but at least we had a topic.

Paragraph 1：

We started to meet regularly to draw up our plans._____________________

Paragraph 2：

One day I got word that he was admitted to hospital for a serious disease. ___________________

主題2 音樂天才遇知音

The whole class burst out laughing as Mohi rushed into the classroom. He was astrange sight. His half?buttoned white shirt showed a red striped nightclothes underneath，and instead of white school shoes， he wore a pair of bright green sandals （涼鞋） that weretwo sizes too big. The physics teacher's hands froze in the middle of writing something onthe blackboard. Mohi said in very low voice，“ Sorry， Teacher，” and went to his seat. Mr Tanglared at the rest of the students. The laughter quickly faded.

Mohi's classmates always looked forward to Mondays. Nine times out of ten， theywould be entertained by Mohi's late arrival and his strange appearance which usuallyincluded inappropriate clothing.

Mohi lived just a street away from the school. He walked to school daily. Studentspassing by in buses would call his name together just to see him jump and stop in histracks. When he spotted the merry bunch in the bus， he would wave good?naturedly. Al?though Mohi was likable， he was too lost in his own thoughts to make friends. His class?mates found him amusing but they ignored him most of the time. Only Hamed， who sat nextto Mohi， tried to be his friend.

The following Monday， Mohi did not turn up at school. His classmates were a little dis?appointed but quickly forgot about him. After school， Hamed decided to walk over toMohis house to check on him. As he approached the gate， he could hear violin music. Mohimust be listening to music， he thought. The gate was not locked. Hamed let himself in. Hecalled Mohis name a few times but there was no response. The music played on. Hamedpeered （窺視） in through a window. His eyes widened in surprise. In the middle of theliving room， Mohi was playing the violin. His eyes were closed in concentration as he drewthe bow over the strings expertly. He played so flawlessly that it sounded like a recording.Hamed left quietly.

Paragraph 1：

When Teachers' Day came around， Hamed had a plan.________________

Paragraph 2：

Today， Mohi is a student pursuing music and Hamed is still his best friend._________________