巧用修辭，為續寫增色

王思

【問題導讀】

修辭手法（figures of speech）是根據表達需要，運用有效的語言手段來提高語言的表達效果，使語言表達具有準確性、鮮明性和生動性的語言運用方式。恰當地使用修辭手法，可以使文章更加生動，更具有表現力，蘊意豐富，引人入勝。

常用的修辭手法有：明喻（simile）、暗喻（metaphor）、夸張（exaggeration）、擬人（per?sonification）、排比（parallelism）、對比（contrast）等。

【名師導學】

1. 明喻是英語中最常用的修辭手法之一。它根據人們的聯想，利用不同事物之間的相似點，借助比喻詞（like、as、as...as、as if、as though、seem等）的連接作用，清楚地說明甲事物在某方面像乙事物，指出兩個不同事物的相似之處，使表達生動形象，明白易懂。

2. 暗喻（隱喻），表示把某事物比擬成和它有相似關系的另一種事物。在暗喻的句子里都會出現本體和喻體，連接二者的比喻詞則常用“是、變成、成為、就是”等漢語詞匯來表示，英語則常用be（am、is、are、was、were）等詞來表示甲是乙，而不用like、as等比喻詞。

3. 夸張是為了達到某種表達效果的需要，對事物的形象、特征、作用、程度等方面故意夸大或縮小的修辭方法。

4. 擬人是指把非人類的東西人格化，賦予它們人類的思想感情、行動和語言能力。擬人化的范圍十分廣泛，包括對動物、植物以及其他非生物、各種具體和抽象事物、概念、觀念、品質的擬人化。

5. 排比是把結構相同或相似、意思密切相關、語氣一致的詞語或句子成串地排列的一種修辭方法，利用意義相關或相近、結構相同或相似和語氣相同的詞組（主、謂、動、賓）或句子并排（三句或三句以上），段落并排（兩段即可），達到一種加強語勢的效果。

6. 對比是把兩個事物之間的異同點進行對比，它是表達思想感情的一種有效方式。它能使事物的特征、性質、狀態更加突出，語言色彩更加鮮明，語義作用更為加強。

在續寫中適當運用這些修辭手法進行細節描寫，能加強文章的表現力和感染力。

【案例導引】

閱讀下面短文，根據所給情節進行續寫，使之構成一個完整的故事

At the end of the class， Mr Smith announced our assignment for the next Monday wasto talk about someone we were grateful to instead of a book report. Upon hearing it， Icouldn't help complaining to Mareya that I was so nervous about having to talk in front ofthe whole class.

“You've been in at least three plays，” Mareya pointed out.“ If you don't get stagefright in front of those big audiences， why are you bothered by a few kids in our class？”

It was true， but in a play you were part of a group. I shook my head. Plus， there wereso many people I was grateful to. There was no way I could possibly pick just one. Plus，even if I picked one， I'd have no idea what to say. Plus， even if I figured out what to say， Iwas a million?percent positive Id mess up if I tried to say it out loud！ I'd be standing therewith everyone staring at me， waiting for words to come out of my mouth.“ Oh， no！” I pulledmy sweatshirt hood （兜帽） over my face， put my hands over my ears and said.“ I don't wantto talk about it！”

But one thing about really good friends who knew you really well was that they didn'talways do exactly what you asked them to. Mareya could be pretty pushy talking of beinghelpful. She scribbled （潦草地寫） something on a piece of paper， lifted my hood， andsmiled. Shed drawn a funny elephant with the word BREATHE coming out of its trunk.

“This is Franky， the Everythings?Going?to?Be?All?Right elephant，” Mareya giggled.She held the picture up to her ear and asked，“ What's that you say， Franky？ Do you thinkmy friend Arizona should come over to my house this weekend so we can work on our talkstogether？”

注意：續寫詞數應為150左右。

Paragraph 1：

And that was exactly what happened.________________

Paragraph 2：

On Monday morning， however， I decided to talk about Mareya.____________________

一、故事梳理

本文以人物為線索展開。作者聽說下周一他要在全班同學面前演講，談一談自己感激的人，感到非常緊張。作者的朋友瑪麗亞為了安慰作者，畫了一頭“一切都會好起來”的大象，并邀請作者一起去她家里準備這次演講。

二、修辭使用

（一）排比

原文有兩處用到了排比，如第三段的“Plus， there were so many people I was grate?ful to. There was no way I could possibly pick just one. Plus， even if I picked one， I'd haveno idea what to say. Plus， even if I figured out what to say， I was a million?percent positiveI'd mess up if I tried to say it out loud！”中，三個plus引導的句子并排在一起，朗朗上口，有很強的節奏感，增強了文章的表達效果和氣勢。而且內容上層層遞進，更加突出了作者感到緊張的原因。同樣，原文第四段的“She scribbled something on a piece ofpaper， lifted my hood， and smiled.”中，scribbled、lifted、smiled三個動作一氣呵成，體現了瑪麗亞安慰作者、逗樂作者的良苦用心。

在續寫的時候，我們也可以模仿原文中使用的排比的修辭手法。由續寫部分第一段的首句內容“事實就是這樣?！笨芍?，第一段可以描寫她們在瑪麗亞家里是如何準備演講的。我們可以這樣寫：“She then gave me suggestions on whom to talk about，helped me organize my ideas and gave me patient guidance on my gestures， emotions andeye contact.”。同樣，根據續寫第二段的首句內容可知，此段主要講作者登臺演講。那么緊張的作者是如何登臺演講的呢？我們可以這樣寫：“But I finally mustered upcourage， stepped onto the platform， cleared my throat and started my speech.”。這兩個句子都是通過一系列的動作來形成排比，加強了語言的氣勢。

<素材積累>

1. Science is the source of knowledge， the crystallization of wisdom and the sym?bol of civilization. 科學是知識的源泉、智慧的結晶和文明的象征。

2. The conscientious professor always prepares his lecture carefully， intelligentlyand prudentially. 這名一絲不茍的教授總是認真、聰明、細心地準備講座。

3. I get online sometimes to acquire the information I need， to download themusic and movie I like， and to chat with the friends I miss. 我有時上網是為了獲取我所需要的信息，下載我喜歡的音樂和電影，跟我想念的朋友聊天。

4. The quickest way to receive love is to give; the fastest way to lose love is tohold it too tightly; and the best way to keep love is to give it wings. 得到愛最快的方法是給予愛；失去愛最快的方法是緊緊地抓住愛；讓愛長駐的最好方法是賦予愛一雙翅膀。

5. When you keep saying you are busy， then you are never free; when you keepsaying you have no time， then you will never have time; when you keep saying thatyou will do it tomorrow， then your tomorrow will never come！ 當你一直說你非常忙碌，你就永遠不會得到空閑；當你一直說你沒有時間，你就永遠不會有時間；當你一直說這件事明天再做，你的明天就永遠不會到來！

（二）明喻

明喻是將兩種具有共同特征的事物或現象進行對比，表明本體和喻體的關系。使用明喻的修辭手法可以對事物的特點、特征進行描繪和渲染，使事物形象更加具體，以此引發讀者的想象，富有很強的感染力。常用的明喻標志詞有like、as、seem、asif、as though、be similar to等。

續寫部分的第二段，輪到作者登臺演講時，我們可以這樣寫：“When my turncame， I became very nervous， with my heart popping wildly like a deer.”。此句將作者的心跳比喻成小鹿跳動，生動地寫出了作者此時緊張的心情。

<素材積累>

1. The icy wind started howling， cutting my face like a sharp knife. 寒風開始咆哮，像鋒利的小刀一樣刺痛了我的臉。

2. The smile on her face shone like a diamond. 她臉上的笑容像鉆石一樣閃閃發光。

3. I reached out to touch her face， which was as cold as the ice. 我伸手去摸她那像冰一樣冷的臉。

4. Mrs Sather looked at my eyes as if （she were） seeing my inner self locked awayinside. 薩瑟老師看著我的眼睛，仿佛看到了內心深處封閉的那個我。

5. Father rushed to his sons school， only to discover the building was as flat as a pan?cake. 父親沖到兒子的學校后，才發現這座建筑已經變成一片廢墟。

（三）暗喻

暗喻是將某一事物的名稱用于另一事物，通過比較形成。它能夠更生動、更深刻地說明事理，增強語言的表現力。暗喻的本體和喻體之間多通過be動詞來連接。

續寫部分的第一段，我們可以描寫作者問瑪麗亞最感激的人是誰，并且可以這樣寫她的回答：“‘My grandma， she blurted out， feeling a warm current coursing through herbody.”。該句將瑪麗亞對奶奶的那份愛比喻為暖流，生動地寫出了這份愛的溫暖。

<素材積累>

1. The beautiful park was a scented carpet of color. 這個美麗的公園就是一個芬芳的彩色地毯。

2. Her hair was a flowing golden river streaming down her shoulders. 她的頭發像是一條流淌在她肩上的金色河流。

3. Life is an unexplored river， full of twists and turns. 生活就像一條未被涉足的河流，充滿曲折。

4. He doesn't have an idea of his own. He just parrots what other people say. 他沒有自己的觀點，只會鸚鵡學舌。

5. The boy wolfed down the food. 這個男孩狼吞虎咽。

（四）夸張

夸張是運用豐富的想象、夸大的言辭，渲染和裝飾客觀事物，以達到強調的效果。這種修辭手法可以增強表達效果，用來抒發作者或說話人的強烈感情。

在原文的第三段中，作者在講到自己沒有辦法完成老師布置的任務時，用了“...Iwas a million?percent positive I'd mess up if I tried to say it out loud！”，這里作者用了“百分之一百萬”這種夸張的修辭手法來表達作者覺得自己肯定做不到的心理狀態。

根據情節的發展趨勢，我們可以推斷出作者最終肯定出色地完成了演講任務。那么，在文章結尾時，我們可以用sb brought the house down with sth來表達這個演講異常出彩，不僅切合題意，還用夸張的修辭手法增強了表達的效果。

<素材積累>

1. The young girl brought the house down with her performance. 這位年輕姑娘的表演博得了滿堂喝彩。

2. When they told me the news， I was on top of the world. 當他們告訴我這個消息時，我樂不可支。

3. It made me jump out of my skin. 這可把我嚇壞了。

4. It brought her heart into her mouth. 這讓她的心懸到了嗓子眼。

5. She went home in a flood of tears. 她淚流滿面地回家去了。

（五）對比

對比是指兩種不同的事物或同一事物的兩個不同方面的相互比較，是突出差別的一種修辭手法。它使論述結構活躍，使文章內容形象化，具有極強的層次感。

根據續寫部分第二段的首句內容可知，作者臨時決定把感謝的對象換成瑪麗亞。那么，緊接著續寫的第一句話應該是作者說明做這個決定的原因。我們可以這樣寫：“While it was true that there were many people I was grateful to， it was Mareya that Ishould express my gratitude to here and now.”。這句話用while將感謝對象進行對比，突出了選擇瑪麗亞作為感謝對象的原因，使語言色彩更加鮮明。

<素材積累>

1. In spring， the day is getting longer and longer， and the night shorter andshorter. 春季里，白天越來越長，黑夜越來越短。

2. Motion is absolute while stagnation is relative. 運動是絕對的，而靜止則是相對的。

3. The wise man knows he knows nothing; the fool man thinks he knows all. 智者自認一無所知，愚者自負無所不曉。

4. The young man has a glorious future before him and the old man has a splen?did future behind him. 年輕人有著燦爛的未來，而老年人的輝煌已成為過去。

5. Everything was on a large scale for him， the highs were higher， the lows lower.他總是喜歡夸大事實，高的說得更高，低的說得更低。

參考范文

Paragraph 1：

And that was exactly what happened. Mareya and I sat in her house on Saturday after?noon. I asked her curiously who she would pick to talk about.“ My grandma，” she blurtedout， feeling a warm current coursing through her body. From her excited look and gentletone， I could feel her deep gratitude to her grandma. She then gave me suggestions on whomto talk about， helped me organize my ideas and gave me patient guidance on my gestures，emotions and eye contact. She was so helpful that I got prepared for my talk very smoothly.

Paragraph 2：

On Monday morning， however， I decided to talk about Mareya. While it was true thatthere were many people I was grateful to， it was Mareya that I should express my gratitudeto here and now. When my turn came， I became very nervous， with my heart popping wildlylike a deer. But I finally mustered up courage， stepped onto the platform， cleared my throatand started my speech，“ Today， I'd like to talk about Mareya， a friend I will always be grate?ful to.” Hearing my words， Mareya widened her eyes and looked at me in surprise. Uponfinishing the talk， I trotted towards Mareya and gave her a bear hug.“ You brought thehouse down with your speech！” she said.

【模擬導練】

閱讀下面短文，根據所給情節進行續寫，使之構成一個完整的故事。

Old Man Donovan was a mean man who hated children. He threw rocks at them. Atleast that's what we had heard.

His small farm bordered our neighborhood where my younger sister， Leigh Ann， and Ilived when we were growing up. His farm was long， narrow and quaint. It held two trea?sures. One was his beautiful fruit. There were many varieties of fruit： pears， apples and lotsmore I just can't think of. The fruit naturally drew the children to his land. It made theminto thieves. But my sister and I didn't dare to take his fruit because of the horrible rumorswe had heard about Old Man Donovan.

One summer day， we were playing in a nearby field. It was time to head back home.My sister and I were feeling very daring that day. There was a short cut to our house thatwent through Donovan's farm. We thought he wouldn't be able to see us run across his pro?perty around the luscious fruit trees. We were almost through the farm when we heard?“Hey， girls！” in a gruff， low voice. We stopped dead in our tracks！ There we were， face toface with Old Man Donovan. Our knees were shaking. We had visions of rocks poundingour bodies and bullets piercing our hearts.