A Ray of Sunshine 一縷陽光

By+Vijaya+Khisty+Bodach

It was Ray who told me that I wasn't fat. She said， "You're not fat. You're tall and curvy. Rubenesque1）."

It was Ray who told me that I could do anything I wanted. She said， "You can be a scientist， an artist， or a designer."

It was Ray who told me to follow my heart. She said， "Know yourself."

I met Ray the year I started high school. Our class had settled down for algebra when there came a knock at the door.

"Come in，" said Mrs. Hatch， our teacher. A dark brown girl wearing a costume out of a foreign movie stepped into the room. She was very， very thin.

"I am sorry to be late. I got lost，" she said， dark eyes drinking in2） everything in our classroom.

"Please take a seat." Ray took the chair beside me. Chairs next to me were always empty. Nobody liked to sit by me. I was fat and unfashionable. I wore comfortable clothes that I had sewn myself.

"Please introduce yourselves，" said Mrs. Hatch. She looked at me to begin.

"Hi， I'm Katie，" I said. Mrs. Hatch nodded to Ray.

She stood up and said， "My name is Reshma， but you can call me Ray. I come from India. I am happy to be here， in this land of opportunity." Someone snorted.

Mrs. Hatch smiled and said， "You may sit down. In this country you do not have to stand up when you answer questions." Ray sat down and adjusted her flowing， swishing3）， silky clothes while the other kids introduced themselves.

Ray chose to sit with me during lunch. I had a juicy hamburger with fries. Ray had a bowl of vegetable soup. She said， "I only eat things that are renewable from animals — like milk and eggs. Once you eat the animal， poof —gone." The kids at the next table waved chicken drumsticks at her. Ray looked away from them. I didn't tell her that my hamburger was a dead cow. She'd figure it out eventually.

The next day， Ray brought strange-smelling food. I gasped from pain when I tasted it. "My mouth is on fire. My tongue is tingling. I'm sweating，" I howled. "I hate it." I gulped down4） a glass of milk.

Ray laughed and said， "My mouth is on fire. My tongue is tingling. I'm sweating." She smacked her lips. "I love it." She devoured5） puffy， white rice cakes called idlis6） and a spicy lentil stew called sambar7）. She ate raita8）—yogurt with shredded cucumbers. "If the idli-sambar is poison，" Ray said， "then raita is the antidote9）."

Ray was my antidote—my best friend. The poison I had built up inside myself about being fat began to fade.

Weeks later， on the school bus， Ray slumped in her seat and said， "I miss home."

"So， how did you end up living here？" I asked. I couldn't even imagine visiting a different country， away from all that I was used to.

"I came with my mother，" Ray said. "She is trying to discover how proteins fold into their final shape. They have to be folded just right to do their job." I understood. A piece of cloth is just that until you fold， cut， twist， and stitch it —to be a shirt， a skirt， or pants. Ray continued， "My mother's work will one day cure diseases like mad-cow disease."

"Wow！" I believed her.

"I'm going to study hard and be a doctor，" Ray said. "Then I'll return to India to help the street people." I knew she'd do it someday. "What will you do？" she asked me. "You must have goals."

"I want to be thin，" I said， thinking how popular I'd be.

"But what would that accomplish？" Ray asked. I wondered， too. Being stick-thin hadn't helped her. She was probably the least popular girl in the school. So I began to think about what I'd really like to do.

"I'm good at sewing. Maybe I will become a dress designer，" I said. That afternoon， we went to the library and studied books about design. Ray pulled down a huge book with the paintings of Peter Paul Rubens in it. The figures in the paintings were lush10） and beautiful. And for the first time， I felt beautiful， too.

Ray was here for a short time—just a year. But she changed my life. Now， when my mouth is on fire and my tongue is tingling and I sweat， I love it. I even learned to make idli-sambar and raita at home， because Ray won't be here to fix11） those dishes for me. Her mom got a job in England working on mad cows， so they moved away.

I'm still here. I'll never have the waif12） look —I'm sturdy and solid， like a good wooden fence. But I don't mind. I try to look at myself the way Ray saw me， tall and curvy. Rubenesque. After meeting Ray， who was like a ray of sunshine in my life， I know who I am. I'm a person who could be a scientist， an artist， or a designer. Right now， I'm making matching red dresses for Ray and me， and flannel13） pajamas just for Ray. She says she's freezing in England.

友情是一縷陽光灑下的溫暖，照亮你的內心，陪你堅定前行。

是瑞告訴我我并不胖。她說：“你不胖。你長得高，還有曲線美，有如魯本斯（編注：即后文的彼得·保羅·魯本斯）畫筆下紅潤迷人的女子?！?/p>

是瑞告訴我我可以做任何我想做的事。她說：“你可以成為一個科學家、一個藝術家或者一個設計師?！?/p>

是瑞告訴我我要聽從自己內心的聲音。她說：“你要了解你自己?！?/p>

我是在剛上高中那一年遇到瑞的。當時我們全班已經坐好準備上代數課了，突然傳來了敲門聲。

“請進?！蔽覀兊睦蠋煿娣蛉苏f。一個深棕色皮膚的女孩走進了教室，她穿著一身外國電影里常見的那種衣服，非常非常瘦。

“不好意思我遲到了。我剛才迷路了?！彼f道，烏黑的眼睛細細打量著教室里的一切。

“請坐?！比鹪谖遗赃叺囊巫由献?。我旁邊的椅子通常都是空的。沒人愿意坐在我旁邊。我又胖，打扮又不入時。我總是穿著自己做的舒服的衣服。

“請大家做一下自我介紹?！惫娣蛉苏f。她看著我示意我開始。

“大家好，我是凱蒂?！蔽艺f。哈奇夫人又朝著瑞點點頭。

她站起來說：“我叫瑞?，?，大家可以叫我瑞。我來自印度。我很高興來到這個到處是機遇的地方?！庇腥溯p哼了一聲。

哈奇夫人笑了笑，說：“你可以坐下說。在這個國家，回答問題的時候不必站起來?！比鹱?，其他孩子做自我介紹時，她整理了自己那平滑的、窸窣作響的絲綢衣服。

午飯時瑞選擇和我坐在一起。我吃的是肉汁豐富的漢堡配薯條。瑞吃了一碗蔬菜湯。她說：“我只吃動物生產的可再生的東西——像牛奶、雞蛋之類的。一旦你吃了動物，噗——就什么都沒了?！编徸赖暮⒆觽儧_著她揮了揮雞腿。瑞轉頭不去看他們。我沒跟她說我的漢堡來自一頭死牛。不過她最后會知道的。

第二天，瑞帶來了聞起來很奇怪的食物。我嘗了一口，疼得直吸氣?！拔业淖炖镏鹆?，我舌頭發麻，我在冒汗?！蔽亦秽唤兄??！拔也幌矚g這個東西?！蔽夜具斯具斯嘞乱槐Ｄ?。

瑞大笑著說：“我的嘴里著火了，我舌頭發麻，我在冒汗?！彼蛇笠幌伦??！拔蚁矚g這個東西?！彼罂诔灾卸姑罪灥乃绍洶咨赘夂徒凶鏊岫箿男晾睙醵棺?。她還吃黃瓜酸奶醬——拌有碎黃瓜的酸奶?！叭绻f豆米餅配酸豆湯是毒藥，”瑞說，“那么黃瓜酸奶醬就是解藥?！?/p>

瑞是我的解藥——我最好的朋友。我內心深處因肥胖而生成的毒素開始逐漸消散。

幾周之后，在校車上，瑞一屁股坐在座位上，說：“我想家了?！?/p>

“那么，你最終是怎么來這里生活的？”我問。我當時甚至無法想象去到另一個國家，遠離所有自己習慣的東西。

“我是跟我媽媽一起來的?！比鹫f?！八谠噲D發現蛋白質是如何折疊成最后的形狀的。它們必須用正確的方式折疊后才能發揮作用?！蔽颐靼姿囊馑?。一塊布料就只是一塊布料，直到經過折疊、剪裁、搓捻和縫合，它才能成為一件上衣、一件裙子或是一條褲子。瑞繼續說：“我媽媽的工作將來可以治好瘋牛病這類的病?！?/p>

“哇！”我相信她說的話。

“我會好好學習，以后成為一名醫生?！比鹫f，“然后我要回到印度去幫助那些無家可歸的人?！蔽抑浪龑頃@么做?！澳阋院笠鍪裁?？”她問我?！澳憧隙ㄊ怯心繕说??！?/p>

“我想要變瘦?！蔽艺f，想著自己會變得多么受歡迎。

“但是那有什么用呢？”瑞問道。我也很疑惑。瑞像麻稈一樣瘦，但這并沒有幫到她。她可能是學校里最不受歡迎的女生。于是我開始思考自己真正想要做的事。

“我擅長縫紉。也許我會成為一名服裝設計師?！蔽艺f。那天下午，我們一起去了圖書館，讀了一些關于設計的書。瑞從書架上拉下來一本超大的書，里面有彼得·保羅·魯本斯的畫。畫里的人物都漂亮且有魅力。這是我第一次覺得自己其實也很美。

瑞在這里待了很短一段時間——只有一年。但是她改變了我的人生?，F在，當我的嘴里感覺著火了，舌頭發麻，我在冒汗時，我已經愛上這種感覺了。我甚至學會了在家做豆米餅配酸豆湯，還有黃瓜酸奶醬，因為瑞不在這里，沒有人為我做這些菜。她媽媽在英格蘭找到一份研究瘋牛病的工作，所以她們搬走了。

我還在這里。我永遠都不會有流浪兒一樣的外表——我強壯、結實，就像牢固的木籬笆。但是我不介意。我試著用瑞看我的方式看待自己：個子高，有曲線美，有如魯本斯畫筆下紅潤迷人的女子。在遇到瑞之后，她就像我生命里的一縷陽光，讓我知道了自己是誰。我是個可能會成為科學家、藝術家或設計師的人。眼下，我在為我和瑞做閨蜜裝紅裙子，并且為瑞做一套法蘭絨睡衣。她說她在英格蘭凍壞了。

1. Rubenesque [?ru?b??nesk] adj. （女子）紅潤迷人的；有如魯本斯畫筆下的女性

2. drink in： 陶醉于；欣賞；被……強烈地吸引住

3. swish [sw??] vi. （絲綢衣裙等）作聲；發唰唰（或嗖嗖等）聲音

4. gulp down： 狼吞虎咽地吃；大口大口地吞下

5. devour [d??va??（r）] vt. 狼吞虎咽地吃

6. idlis [??dli?] n. <泰米爾語> （印度南部的）豆米餅

7. sambar [?sɑ?mbɑ?（r）] n. <泰米爾語> （印度）濃味扁豆湯

8. raita[?ra?t?] n. 黃瓜酸奶醬，印度的一道菜，將切碎的黃瓜、胡椒粉、薄荷等放進酸奶中并與咖喱同食

9. antidote [??ntid??t] n. 解毒藥

10. lush [l??] adj. （外表、味道或者氣味）吸引人的

11. fix [f?ks] vt. 安排，供給；準備（飯食等），沏（茶）

12. waif [we?f] n. 流浪漢，無家可歸者，（尤指）流浪兒

13. flannel [?fl?nl] n. 法蘭絨