Differences of Family Education between China and America

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【Abstract】This article mainly relies on An Au Pair to My House and Boyhood， and these two typical movie relates to the family education. With these lively plots involving the family education as the breakthrough point， it describes the differences between Chinese and Western family education， and analyzes the cause of these differences. The main innovation of this paper is through the comparison of the differences between Chinese and American family education being reflected in the film， analyzing these different ideas and ways of family education with Hofstede's cultural dimensions theory. Then， the advantages and disadvantages of Chinese family education are discussed. So this Chinese family should carry on the excellent traditional culture， and meanwhile， selectively introduce the western advanced education ideas.

【Key words】differences of family education； China and America， Hofstedes Cultural Dimensions Theory

1.Introduction

As the society develops， people are attaching great importance to family education. Froebel once said： "The destiny of the nation is not so much a hold in the hands of a ruler as it is in the hands of the mother. "It shows the importance of family education. As the cultural exchanges between China and America is growing， the American family education style is becoming more and more acceptable to us. Aware of the differences of children between Chinese and American families， we recognize the differences of family education between China and America. Then we realize that the differences between Chinese and foreign parents， as well as the disadvantages of family education in our country， and our children will grow better in the company of their parents.

An Au Pair to My House is a film about Chinese family education. It is directed by Chen Gang in 2014 and won the Best Children's Film Award of Golden Angel in the tenth Sino-American Film Festival. It is a story that took place in a big city in China. An older mothers always complained under the dual pressures of life and work. In order to take her daughter abroad， beyond family affordability， she got Natalie， an au pair from Columbia to her house to teach her 5-year-old daughter to learn English. And then a series of thought-provoking stories took place.

“Boyfood “ is directed by Richard Linklater for 12 years and nominated for best picture in the 87 annual Academy Awards. This film told the story of a boy Mason from the age of 6 to 18， involving his life at home and in the school. Masons family was different from ours in China， and his parents divorced， then his mother remarried twice. He and his elder sister lived with their mother， but their father kept visiting them one time every two weeks and accompanied them. His mother was a self-independent woman， while his father was the spirit guide of the children， paying more attention to their psychology and soul.

2. Introduction of Hofstedes Cultural Dimensions Theory

With data provided by the early 1970s IBM employees， Hofstede made a study of the related values. And he developed four dimensions of the values， namely Individualism and Collectivism， Power Distance， Uncertainty Avoidance and Masculinity and Femininity. Later， the psychologist ，Michael Bond made a survey of the oriental culture， and then added a fifth dimension， Long-term and Short-term Orientation. The theory of the five cultural dimensions has been used extensively in cross-culture study.

2.1 Individualism and Collectivism

For the dimension of individualism and collectivism， Hofstede thought that individualism refers to the loose relation among people in the society and people only take care of themselves and their core family. On the contrary， collectivism refers to such a society： people integrate themselves into a strong inner group since their birth， and this group provides life-long protection for people in order to make people remain loyalty to this group. He used "individualism index"（IDV） to measure a certain social individualism or collectivism tendency. The higher the index， the more obvious the individualism of the members in their society； on the other hand， is collectivism.

2.2 Power Distance

Hofstede in his "Cultures and Organizations： Software of the Mind，" defined "power distance" as： in a country's institutions and organizations， the weak members acceptance and expectations for the inequality of the power distribution. Here， institutions is the basic unit of the society， such as family， school， community， etc.； organizations refers to the workplace. Power distance exists between all levels of society， such as family， school， company， and even friends. Power distance is differenced through the Power Distance Index（PDI）： the higher the index， the greater the power distance. In the larger power distance， people accept the strong hierarchy； in the smaller power distance society， people accept the weak level system.

2.3 Masculinity and Femininity

Hofstede believed that the differences of different social mental programming in the dimension of masculinity-femininity are not only social but also emotional. Therefore， this dimension is defined as when the emotion of sex role is not obvious at the same time： males were found to be decisive， tough， paying attention to material success； women are considered to be the humble， gentle， pay attention to the quality of life， so such a society is called masculinity society. When emotional gender roles overlap， that is， both men and women are considered to be modest， gentle and concerned about the quality of life， such a society is known as the feminine society. MAS： Masculinity index is available， namely： the higher the index， masculinity of society more obvious； on the contrary， society of femininity.

2.4 Uncertainty Avoidance

For the uncertainty avoidance， Hofstedes definition is how members of a culture feel the threat when they are in the face of uncertainty or unknown. In addition， this feeling is often exposed through the tension and the demand of the predictability （ the demand for written and unwritten rules）. The degree to avoid the uncertainty is measured by the "Uncertainty Avoidance Index" （UAI）. The higher the index is， the stronger the tendency to avoid uncertainty is， and the weaker the vice versa.

2.5 Long-term Orientation and Short – term Orientation

"Long - term Orientation means fostering and encouraging the character of person to pursue future returns， especially perseverance and plurality. On the other hand， a short - term orientation focus on the past and the present， in particular， in which， people respect for the tradition， maintain face and carry out the social obligations." The "long-term orientation index" （LTO） is used to show the difference， such as the greater the index， the more obvious the long-term orientation of the society； to the contrary， the smaller the index， the more obvious the short-term oriented.

3. Hofstede's cultural dimensions theory and these two films

According to the latest research， the related indexes to the above five dimensions of China and America are listed below：

IDV PDI UAI MAS LTO

China 20 80 46 66 118

America 91 40 30 62 29

From the data listed above， we can see that China and the United States in uncertainty avoidance and masculinity-femininity， the two dimensions exist little difference. For individualism-collectivism， power distance and long-term orientation and short-term orientation， these numerical differences are larger. For the family education， their distinctions are mainly existing in these three dimensions of individualism-collectivism， power distance and uncertainty avoidance. From these three dimensions， the differences are analyzed about family education embodied in these two films between China and America.

3.1 Individualism and Collectivism

According to Hofstede's statistics， the Chinese culture is attributed to the higher values of collectivism culture， while American culture can be attributed to the higher values of individualism. For family， the children of individualism society learn from the perspective of "me" to consider the issue. The outspoken is a good performance. They have strong self - awareness， and give full play to their potential ability to promote self - goal. For their own resources， parents does not share with their children. People tend to take care of themselves and their core families， and the relationship between the relatives is estranged. In their society， the negligence can lead personally to a negative sense of guilt and loss of self-esteem， and it has a low context of communication. The purpose of the study is to learn how to study， the diploma can improve the competitiveness of the individual in the society.

In China with a lower individual index， Children consider problems from "us"， and always maintain harmony， to avoid conflict， and even to change the individual's willingness to meet the needs of the family. Resources to share with loved ones， with a relatively close relationship between relatives， even three or four generations living together. Negligence can lead people and their families to shame and loss of face. It has a high context of communication. The purpose of the study is to learn to do things， and the diploma is helpful for the children to a higher social status of the group.

In the film An Au Pair to my House， Pipis mother pursues " to raise her daughter as a princess". In order to make Pipi become the protagonist of the drama "Cinderella" in her kindergarten， Pipis mother spends more money having an aupair teach Pipi English. When Pipi goes out， she is not allowed to take public transport， and she can only take a taxi. Pipis mother tells Natalie and Pipi to have a meal in a four-star hotel or above. In China， parents have great ambitions to their children's. The childrens success is not only their own glory， but is the glory of their parents. The task of parents is try to take care of their children， and the children are expected to act according to their mothers.

In the film Boyhood， father of Mason sold her car and Mason was disappointed. He said to her father that he had ever promised to give Mason the car at the age of 16. But Masons father said that he had never said such a thing， besides this car is his own， which he wanted to do with is his own things. Masons father thought if Mason wanted a car， he should save enough money to buy it on his own. For the individualistic culture of the United States， the parents think that children should gain what they want through their own efforts. For something belonging to the parents， they dont give their children with a free a hand. In the film， in the high school， in order to earn enough money for his college tuition， Mason worked in the restaurant.

3.2 Power Distance

According to Hofstede's statistics， China's traditional culture is a high power distance culture， while the traditional culture of the United States belongs to a low power distance culture. For the family， in the society with low power distance， the inequality among people should be reduced as far as possible. Therefore， parents treat their children equally， children treat their parents and elders with equality. And the children do not have the obligation to support their parents. While in the high power distance society， the inequality among people is in line with expectations， and the children should obey their parents. It is the traditional virtue to respect parents and elders and the children have the obligation to support their parents.

In the film Boyhood， on the way home from school， Mason's mother said calmly to her son， a schoolboy that his teacher was angry with Mason， because Mason had not handed in his homework and cut stone with the teachers sharpener. Masons mother was not angry， but after the talk， Mason would understand how to do. Masons mother give full respect for her son. After Mason and his sister went to college， their mother moved to a smaller apartment， even not prepare rooms for her children. This way， she would pay less bills and spend more time and energy on writing. So far， intimate family association would gradually become alienated， the children began their independent life.

In the film An Au Pair to my House， Pipis mother said that Pippi could not win in the competition of family background， so she must be much stronger than others to survive in the competition. It shows that Chinese children and their parents is a kind of attachment relationship. Pipi was told to play piano every afternoon and learn English， not allowed to watch TV， go out to play， take the subway. She never cared what Pipi want to do. Such patriarchy parents deeply rooted in traditional Chinese culture， which in a large extent bound the free development of children's physical and mental.

3.3 Uncertainty Avoidance

According to Hofstede's statistics， China's uncertainty avoidance index is higher than the United States， and the difference between the two is not great， but correspondingly for family education， there is a very clear difference. In China， with a slightly higher index of uncertainty avoidance， parents generally have a lot of stress and anxiety， and parents consider uncertain environment and things as a threat for children and most of them expect that their children have stable jobs. People always strive to avoid conflict， generally do not encourage their children to take the risk. The prim and step by step is the so-called "good child" standard. Between parents and children， it exists big generation gaps.

And in the United States， the uncertainty avoidance index is a little lower， but the situation is very different， parents pressure and anxiety is not great. The adaptation of the uncertain situation is a useful exercise for children. The children can freely choose and change their careers and do what they like to do. The children are encouraged to venture. The conflict is thought to bring more positive consequences， and the children are encouraged to engage in invention.

In the film An Au Pair to my House， when they had dinner in the restaurant， Pipi used the tableware brought by herself， and Pipi could not drink the soup until her mother used a colander to filter， eating fish after her mother removing the fishbones. Pipis mother did not allowed her daughter to go out to play， and she said that stranger is wolf. Natalie finally convinced Pipis mother that she could take Pipi to play， but Pipi is not allowed to take the subway so that she could keep away from the germs in the public transport.

To see the film "Boyhood"， with skin dad and mother's stable career， Mason's mother in order to his favorite university teachers this career and work hard， even if one person to take care of two children did not give up， eventually got his wish， and Mason's father is not a stable career， like music， playing music， working on board， participated in the actuarial exam， in China， this is not reliable. Although and Mason's mother divorced， but still insist on two weeks to see a child， take the children out to play， from him and the children get along can see he is a very responsible father， but he is always in the pursuit of their favorite life. Their father encouraged the children to do what they were interested in， and even talked about the sex with two children.

4.Conclusion

Every country has its own culture， and the differences of family education reflect the distinction of different values. Through comparison， we can find the advantages and disadvantage existing in our family education. Firstly， such traditional virtues as modestly decline and filial piety could not be abandoned， which rooting deeply from Chinese culture and history are closely related with peoples life. Secondly， the parents should not overly protect their children. The children should be encouraged to seek adventure and become independent. Children should get in touch with various aspects of society to attain a more comprehensive knowledge， so that they can make a decent living. Thirdly， the parents should respect the personality of their children and give them full trust. It is not so wise for the parents to speak with their children in a tone of command. The children have their own ideas for life and study ， and it is not possible for the parents to plan anything well for their children. Meanwhile， Chinese fathers are advised to involve themselves more into the childrens education.

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